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Driving By Your House

from This Mighty World E​.​P. by Shawnee Kilgore

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about

i've always been a little boy crazy, but the teenage years were definitely harder to cope with. there was a lot more emptiness back then, a lot more of feeling like nobody when i couldn't win someone's affections. those feelings are far from gone, don't get me wrong, but it doesn't so much swallow me whole anymore. looking back there were some really dark times, and i don't know if this was a really dark time, or one of the breaks between the clouds. i wanted someone for a very long time who chose not to, or couldn't, see me the way i wanted them to. and somewhere in there i started to understand that i had to shine too, i couldn't just turn all the light on them because i was nervous or afraid to say or do (or be!) the wrong thing. yet there was always that nagging feeling that if i just gave a little more.....then i could reach them.....

lyrics

i don't forget
let's just pretend that's everything i know
i hold my heart, i hold my tongue, i hold a hand
and off i go
and you're everything the way that i am not
the trusty red caboose
of my old rusty train of thought

and still there's always one more time
i think i should've phoned
i should have called, i should have come
i should have cared, i should have known
and now i'm bleeding
got no secrets, got no bandaid, got no brain
and i've been sleeping
i don't know how long i've loved in vain

it's hard for me remembering
the way i felt before i heard you sing
and just to be here
just to live and love is humbling

and i wonder who i am
when i am not myself
i dedicated life to being ready
when (and if) you asked for help
and now i'm driving by your house again
and i'm prepared to turn myself in

and still i'm thinking
thinking clearly, thinking dearly
and quite frankly thinking dumb
you fumble handouts and i think somehow
that i could be the one
so now i'm knocking
never loud enough, there's no good time for this
i want to hold you
yeah i guess that's pretty humorous

and something here reminds me
of a movie i once saw
and i would like for you to hold me
when i'm not so empty
all in all

i'm pretty sure it's never easy
and i like to think that i have earned my keep
it's so familiar
like a price that feels a little steep
and still i think you know me
but mistake me for a weaker kind of you
the lines are blurry
i can't even find my point of view

i'm driving by your house again
and i'm prepared to turn myself in

credits

from This Mighty World E​.​P., released March 20, 2007

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Shawnee Kilgore Austin, Texas

"Shawnee Kilgore is to music as velvet gloves are to diamond cutters,” wrote James Hardesty, owner of the Green Frog Acoustic Tavern in Bellingham, WA. “She holds all this beauty in her hand, raw and untouched, then she chips away until it gleams in the light, holding on with a soft gentleness that she has perfected." ... more

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